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You are viewing the most recent 19 entries August 20th, 2005: laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ASLGKJSLGKJSDLGjSOieahsghidsglksdhglksdh look at my xanga you emotional fuckwit. Current Mood:  predatoryCurrent Music: hSLGKJDSLGJSD April 1st, 2005: scary internet The internet is a scary place. It's a place where you can hide. You can be completely anonymous. You can stumble upon things that you didn't mean to find. An ocean of secrets. A rumor mill boiling over with scandals, lies, and tragedies. Maybe you can be yourself on the internet. You're too shy to articulate things out loud so you decide you can pour your heart out into an empty, emotionless metal box, unable to gauge the reaction of the people on the other end of the wire. But maybe being yourself isn't always the best thing. Being yourself can get you into trouble. Being yourself can make you reveal secrets that are better off untold. You think you're something totally different, and suddenly you assume a new identity. An identity where you are free to fabricate, invent, create anything you want to. Such an enormous amount of freedom of expression and of being is bound to get us into trouble. We're only human. Suddenly, we can say horrible things to someone, hurting them vindictively with the cruel knowledge that you will not take the blame. We can tell the most beautiful lies and the most painful truths. We can find out anything. Things that we want to know, and things that we wish we had never come upon. Curiosity can kill you. Evil people can find you on the internet. You can find them too. Your friends can turn out to be your enemies. Your enemies can turn out to be on your side, secretly. Meanwhile you sit, oblivious, thinking that you're the only one who lies, creates tapestries of fibs, who wants to be able to delve into other people's thoughts even though that is impossible. In a journal like this you can tell everything. Or everything but. I think you're better off omitting. Don't go out looking for something you know will hurt you. Odds are, you'll find it. Be careful what you wish for. Because it might just be a click away. Don't say things you'll regret later just because it's easier to type it in all caps than to get up the courage to scream it at someone. It's just as hard to take back. Don't pretend to be someone else. Don't be too curious. Don't be fooled by an online persona. Go out and live something real... Something more than pixels and letters. Sign off. Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: silence March 22nd, 2005March 16th, 2005: long time no write. I got kind of bored of updating my LJ. Also I have been having major panic attack meltdowns lately so I haven't been relaxed enought to write anything. But lalala. Now it's almost spring break so I'm entitled to a little slack time right? Tomorrow is ST. Patrick's Day! St. Patrick's Day is such an awesome holiday because you look for leprechaun gold and get to pinch the bums who don't wear green (doubly awesome if you don't like the person...) :):) I am actually so not doing work tonight that I picked out an outfit to wear tomorrow. I literally found this green shirt I had been looking for forever and I was like *YAY!* I remember one ST. Patrick's Day in 3rd grade I brought this really pretty green rock to school, and my friend Amara and I were playing with it and then it disappeared and we were like "OMG THE LEPRECHAUNS TOOK IT!!" Haha except I bet that it was just one of the naughty little boys in our class. But we were SO happy that the leprechauns liked our rock. Irish people are really cool. I like how they talk...that little singsongy type voice you know? When Irish eyes are smiling. Yeah. So today was really fun and I was in such a great mood. I love days like this. Hopefully my physics OLQ and packet that I have to do later won't ruin it. One thing that happened that was hilarious was that Jackie and I were running down the stairs and we see Octavian, and he gives Jackie a high five and I'm like "HEY! What about me?" and he's like "Sorry Emily!" and then he tries to give me a high five, except right as he tries to, this guy walking down the stairs walks right through us and Octavian gives a high five to this poor unsuspecting bypasser's crotch. HAHAHA. SO AWKWARD. SPRING BREAK...is going...to rock... First I'm going to UVA with Vida for 2 nights. I can't wait. I think UVA is most likely where I will end up and it sounds awesome sooo...I'm excited. Then I'm visiting a bunch of PA schools with the parents (which is going to kind of suck but whatever)...then celebrating Easter with my PA fam...haven't seen them actually in like 3 months so that's cool. ANYWAYYYYY. I have like a half an hour until dinner and I don't feel like starting my work even though I probably should. I think I'll go paint my nails or something. ladeedah. love love love<3 Happy Leprechaun Day. ~~emiLy Current Mood:  cheerfulCurrent Music: When Irish eyes are smiling February 26th, 2005: MY STALKER!! AAHH!!!
LJ Stalker Finder From Go-Quiz.com AAHHH! I had wondered who my stalker was! And of COURSE it turns out to be Sinziana!!! I should've KNOWN...... *sigh*.......considering I looked at my IMChaos thing for this journal and one of the hits was "EMILYSSTALKER" and another was "ILOVEEMILYMILLER." I love it when people say nice stuff like that...well...nice AND scary stuff like that hahaha. So who ever that was, thank you. :) Even though I have my suspicions. *wink* Soooo we had chamber today...it was fun I guess. Except that Mr. Frels hates me for no reason. But that's ok I guess...I already knew that. Anywayyyy...ladeedadeeda. The TWO snow days have been amazing. I needed them SO much. Now I am for the first time in a while having a RELAXING weekend. NICE. <3. The physics problem set is dumb. EW. SIMs 2 is SUCH a fun game. You can make SIMS that look exactly like people. LOL. It's really screwed up. I always scream when I'm making one and all of a sudden I realize it looks like someone...*shivers*. OK so...dinner time. I'm way too lazy to write anything interesting. Oh but before I go question:: how do you join a community? I can't figure out how to join tjchoir or tjpeople, even though someone invited me to join tjchoir already...but sorry haha I'm not too good at figuring stuff out...:-P OK DINNER. Hasta la vista baybee. <3<3<3 Current Mood:  listlessCurrent Music: nada........ February 19th, 2005: stupid live journal! I TRIED to update this 2 days ago...and I wrote a ton of stuff and then when I clicked update it said something about the journal being read only? Then when I tried to get back to what I had written it wouldn't let me...so I lost all of it and have to write it all again!! :) BLEGH!! Well. So what happened this week. Monday=Valentine's Day...I had a surprisingly awesome day, probably because of the sugar highs, and I was happy because I did my hair like Drew Barrymore's in 50 First Dates. Sinz and I ate tons of candy during HUM and then wrote stuff like *kiss me* on the empty wrappers and gave them to brad atefi as valentines. The next day he was like "Thanks for the valentines, ladies" hahaha he is so funny. After school I finally got to go see Laurie (my voice teacher) again! She is such an awesome person & her house is sooo therapeutic...I go there and I completely de-stress. Tuesday=...hmm I can only remember the APChem test from that day...and I got a 95 on it wahoo! So that was good. Umm what else. Oh yeah, we (Sirens) auditioned for talent show. Wednesday= We had a really obnoxious history essay test on the rise and decline of the Populist party. EW. My essay sucked. But then my day got better because Sinz and I, while listening (*listening*) to Helm's lecture, assigned parts for everyone in Beauty and the Beast! I'm one of the ditzy blonde girls obsessed with Gaston, Sinziana is the skanky feather duster, Vida is Chip, Nolan is Mrs. Potts, Peter T. is the horse, Winston is the foot rest, Mr. Lawson is the stove, Berit (and Mr. Rose) are the rose, Lee is the dandelion, BDG is Gaston, LDG is LeFou, Cutie is Lumiere, Feff is Cogsworth, Paniyotis is a cup, Hunter is a napkin, Jackie is the clothes closet, Darren is the beast, MrL is the log that they use to beat in the door, Arian is a gargoyle, FEDEx and UPS are the killer wolves...ummm OK I can't remember anymore, but you get the point. It's going to be an incredible production. Thursday=Physics test...sucked. But I was happy because Sirens made it into talent show...and I was worried that it would be my fault is we didn't make it because I sang the solo...so meh! That was good:) Ladeeda. Omigosh. Caesar's hair is so crazy. It's like a peace sign on his head. It's awesome though. I stayed up really late because...I can't even remember. I think I was talking to Brian and Hunter or something. Also I got the J-Day tape from Mr. Montgomery! It was awesome, because I FINALLY got to see how I actually sang at the Sirens performance thingy in Jr. Lounge that day, and I've wanted to know that for like...a LONG time. Friday= SO FUN! No tests today...and I had gotten SO sick of tests because I had one Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday. ick. During 8th pd. was hilarious because I started doing my hair by taking like 20 pencils out of Mr. Frels' office and then twisted my hair into a bun and put all the pencils in it. THen Joanna started "helping out" and she put like 10 yards of white ribbon (and some paper clips) into my hair...then Mr. Frels goes "Hey! You can be a trash can!" so he takes out his stapler and staples a plastic bag into my hair too. Then I walked around the school and people were like *stare*. So basically it was an awesome day(and I acquired 20 new sharpened pencils mwahaha)...then after school I drove to springfield mall all by myself!! I didn't get lost either! (or crash) But crashing honestly isn't one of my main concerns now, I think I've got the driving part down...it's just the directions that I struggle with. I have 0 sense of direction. Oh but at the mall! Sinz and Vi and I were walking around &... It was SO sad (and funny at the same time), because this little spanish kid comes up to me and goes "Hey, he wants your number." and so I turn around expecting to see his perverted father or something, and see ANOTHER little like...10 year old kid...and he like winks at me and licks his lips....hahaha I was like ok I'll give you my number (867-5309 of course). Then he goes "Well, see, I have a girlfriend. But I'm cheating on her right now" and so I was like "That is SO bad! You shouldn't cheat on your girlfriend! That's so mean!" & I started like lecturing him on why cheating is bad,& then Vida and Sinzi were like "EMILY YOU PEDOPHILE COME BACK HERE." but I was just trying to rid the future world of another jackass bastard who thinks cheating is OK! LOL but whatever. I doubt it worked. Today=Went "volunteering" to find that um..they don't need us. So Vida & I went to Walmart instead. She & Sinz are coming over later and Sinz & i are going to have a psychotic sleepover..We'll see what happens. If any of you get a really strange phone call, rest assured that its only us. :-D So now that I've written the most long winded thing EVER (hey I hadn't gotten to chatter on here in like a week!)...I think I'll go play guitar or watch tv or bang my head against a wall or something normal like that. Adios mis amantes:-* You know you love me MLE Current Mood:  Listen to a jubilant song!February 12th, 2005: La dee dah. I haven't really updated in a while. I haven't felt like it, and I didn't have enough time because this week I had to do a lot of work that I didn't do when I was sick ALL last weekend. :( Soo.....what's happened. It's gotten warmer. I went to see William and Mary with Vida...I don't think I ever said anything about William and Mary...I liked it. The tour guide was really friendly and interesting, and he seemed to absolutely LOVE the school. (Well I guess they wouldn't choose a tour guide who hated the school but whatever.) Vida and I followed around random guys and talked and went shopping and stuff like that. So that was fun...but I'm more excited about when we go to UVA to stay with Vida's sister, because I actually know a ton of people at UVA so I will be able to go around and visit and stuff. I actually can't wait to go to college. It has never seemed so close before. I feel like I'm going next week or something. And I will NOT go to and Ivy League. My counselor was like, I want you to seriously consider applying to Yale and Princeton and UPenn, because you're definitely going to get into UVA and stuff. I don't know. Maybe I will apply to one of them just for kicks but I won't go there :-\. Ick. If there's one thing TJ has taught me it's that I don't want to work really,really hard in my life and be in such a competitive environment. Right now I'm starting to actually slack off because I've drained myself of basically all of my energy. I just want to go to college because I want to meet new people and have fun and be independent. I don't know. I'm tired of high school. I've just been taken over by this huge blanket of boredom that goes on forever and ever and I can't make it go away and it's suffocating me. That's why I need a change. It's not that I'm sad at all, because I'm really not. Just bored. I used to be so excited about life and love and fun and everything but now my attitude is just...bored. I'm also bored about Valentine's Day. I love Valentine's Day. A lot. But it's just boring to me right now. Especially because I'll have to spend Valentine's Day with my Chem Book. Chapter 15. Ooh baby. I'm getting bored to tears just writing this entry. I don't have anything interesting to say really. Um. Brian drove me home yesterday in his BMW. Nice nice car. But it tried to burn me to death with its heated seats. Cyberangel100: k hold on ellemme read itsgd Fedelamore: yes ma'am Cyberangel100: lalaaaal Fedelamore: oskuerenjoytti Cyberangel100: hahahahaha Cyberangel100: fdgeiyghasy~ Fedelamore: ijatebyos Brittany and I are having an interesting conversation at least. OK so I guess I'm not SO bored. Sinziana and I are going to go to a soccer game soon. For old times sake. Even though UPS and FedEX with be there and they'll piss the hell out of me...but they always have so I guess...yeah. Whatever. Mwahmwah. adios. Current Mood: boredFebruary 5th, 2005: sick sick sick. I have been sick every weekend for the past three weekends. It sucks. A lot. Friday I went into school late just so that I could take my HUM test...I know I'm a loser but I didn't want to miss it because for some reason I always end up missing HUM tests and I don't want my teachers to hate me....So I ended up just going in and then taking the test and going home. I've had a 103 fever all yesterday and today and the reason I'm on the computer is because I was going to try to work on my HUM paper. This is so sad...it's like...what TJ does to a person...makes them never able to relax or have time to get better from being sick. I had a delirious-ish dream last night: Vida and I were at the mall, and we saw Joseph Coram, and we were hanging out with him and it was really weird because I haven't talked to him in forever. Then all of a sudden, these two spanish gangs came out onto like the soccer field or something (at the mall? yeah...i know...whatever), and one of the guys put a gun to my head and was like "Go kill the other guys in the gang over there or I'll kill you." & I was so afraid and I was like I don't want to die but I also would never want to kill anyone...so then I was trying to figure out what to do and then suddenly I realized that I could fly..and so I flew up into the clouds and it was very very pretty. The End. What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Let yourself get killed or kill the other people? I think the reason I had that dream is because that is kindof like the plot of Collateral...Tom Cruise is such a sexy psycho maniac killer:). UGh. so. question for you guys. Have you ever thought you were over someone but then randomly, like 2 months after you thought it was over with, you are like whoa...I still like them? I have had that happen to me like one or two weeks after I thought I stopped liking someone, but never after more than a month. It's so weird. Maybe it's just because I'm sick though and so I'm hallucinating again. It makes me sad though, because I actually like not being over him...even though I never see him, and I think I annoy him when I talk to him lol:) It's just sometimes I get these random memories of him and even after such a long time they still make me smile. Meh Ok here I go rambling again. I am really really feeling sick so I think I'll go off and die or something. aka watch Dodgeball and not do any homework. Mwah. XOXOXO You know you love me, MLE Current Mood:  drainedCurrent Music: Eve 6 Heart in a Blender January 31st, 2005: Thanks Katie T. hahaha this is great!
I like it. I'm interested to know what the boys' boobies' names are. Hahahaha. Current Mood:  crazyJanuary 29th, 2005:
HAHA IS THAT TRUE AT ALL??? i DON'T THINK SO. Maybe they just didn't ask the right questions... Current Mood: hmm: la la la la This morning was not fun. I had my killer cramps for the first time in like...seriously 5 months :( I thought it was gone for good and it's NOT. AAHHH. It was scary because I took 2 advil and it didn't help at all so I took 2 more, and then it finally got better. I am really worried though, because I don't think this is normal. I have bite marks all over my arm because I was trying not to scream because my mom always get's really freaked out- but she was freaked out anyway because I kept praying and stuff :-\. Haha I apologize to any boys reading this because you are probably like OKKK that's nice. Just shut up and be glad you're male. Anyway...so I had to skip out on shopping with Vida :(...but I watched half of Gone With the Wind (<3 that movie). I still need to go upstairs and finish watching it...even though I've seen it so many times haha. It's so romantic, and Scarlett O'Hara is quite the classic Southern Belle skank. I wish that I was more like her...because she's so hot and such a bitch! I am too nice for my own good because I am afraid of everyone and don't want anyone to dislike me...OH WELL. Also she gets Clark Gable. He's not that hot (and he also happens to be dead) but...he's super charming. That is always a big ++++ in my book. Boo. So. I need a boy. Anyone got any ideas? Also, I'm extremely picky so make your suggestions carefully (i.e. Kelly don't suggest "Sex"). Actually don't make any suggestions because I don't take them. But I do need a boy. Grr. Not that I don't enjoy very much being single, but I also loooove being tied down(in a strictly figurative way). Also I have a question for you people:: If someone never ever initiates conversation with you...does it mean they don't like you? Or worse, that they completely have forgotten about you? :-\ That seems to happen to me sometimes with some people...and it worries me...because I don't want to talk to them because I'm afraid that I will be annoying them, and I feel really uncomfortable talking to people when I feel like they don't want to be talking to me... Oh yeah! Berit's Birthday is tomorrow:: Happy Birthday Berit!! And if I don't update again before Tuesday, Jackie (my fiancee)'s birthday is on Tuesday! I love those girls super much:) mwahhh. And now almost all of my friends are officially older than me. Wait no that's a lie because I'm not that young and I also am friends with a bunch of sophomores so yay!:) One more thing before I go:: Brian Aiken== coolest person ever. (If you read this, I don't think you do, but oh well) Thanks again for the CDs I listened to both of them mucho yesterday :) I <3 dashboard. OK I'm off to...watch the end of Gone With the Wind. I am not going to be online for a while because tomorrow I'll be shopping at Tysons or Springfield not sure...and Monday/Tuesday I'm at William and Mary college visiting. Even though I am totally not going to college in Virginia...but maybe I can find a frat party to go to or something...lol. I am a big partier as everyone knows (*cough*). Maybe I will find Mr. Right there. Not. He never comes when you expect him to. Damn that dumb bastard. lalala. You know you love me, psychoticness aside, Emilyyyy PS I should probably censor my LJ some because the other day during physics Mr. Rose was like "be careful what you post online, because my wife loves to snoop around reading live journals and stuff." hahaha. Oh well. He already knows that I am insane, as does everyone else so it won't be a huge surprise. Current Mood:  gigglyCurrent Music: Dashboard Confessional January 27th, 2005: Quick update. LJs are so addictive. Anyways. I just wanted to thank everyone who responded to that last :-\ entry, or was like "Ah Emily I'm worried about you!" All of your advice/concern really helped:) And yeah. Most of the time it's on and off like that with me. I am slightly bipolar as those who see me a lot will gladly verify.... Me: OMG. I am going to fail. Then I will get brutally beaten by all of my teachers, and then I will go home and cry before committing suicide and then...dundundun...NEVER get into college!!! (whoever I am griping to at the time): That sounds awful. Sorry. Me(5 minutes later): La La La isn't life beautiful? yeah. so anyway sorry about that entry...didn't mean to scare anybody or anything, just needed to vent a little bit:) Now that the semester exam week is over and all I'm much happier anyway. I feel SO relieved. Junior year is officially half over. HALF. I have made it this far. It's so crazy. I can remember last summer, thinking that junior year would NEVER, EVER end. Truthfully, it hasn't been that bad. (see this is the optimistic side of my bipolarity talking) I've had some rough times, for sure...but then I did last year too. I think for me it's a problem with adjustment. I hate change. It's really hard for me to deal with for some reason. I think that's why it's generally this way for me: I hate school and struggle for the first semester of every year, and then I get all comfy cozy during second semester and feel much more relaxed. Granted junior year second semester is going to be particularly stressful...oh well. Whatever. I will try to deal with it. OK it is a school night but I don't have anything important to do tomorrow (even though I've stayed up extremely late every night this week studying/working/etc)...so that's why this "quick" update turned into a novel. Getting an LJ was a huge mistake. It's really fun...but then I tend to blabber on and on and on...I am already addicted to the internet...now I have another reason to sit my lazy ass in a chair and type for the rest of my life. Meh. As long as I'm enjoying it I guess? Love you guys. Night. <3 P.S. Schmuck! Schmuck! lol Jacquelee & Joanna:) Current Mood:  quixoticJanuary 22nd, 2005: fuck. I am so miserable. I hate everything...it seems like everything I do is wrong...everyone is mad at me...I just can't seem to get it right. What is WRONG with me? I don't know what to do. Ever since the summer ended everything went down hill. Junior year started, my grandpa died, I started flipping out every other second, I kept obsessing over a boy who hated me, and then I just dumped it onto my friends like I'm doing now. Sirens was so amazing last year. It was so much fun. Choir was so much fun last year. Last year Last year Last year. Last year Mr. Frels never would've stormed out of class. Last year we wouldn'tve had a bunch of people crying all the time because of something. Something is wrong. Something is missing. i don't know what the hell it is but I want it back. How could it all have gone so crazy? What is so different about this year?? This year reminds me of Comp Sci. During Comp Sci I came home every day and studied until I went to sleep because I knew I couldn't do it unless I worked and worked forever. Then I would break down when I did really bad on all the tests and when I realized I was wasting my summer. Why am I even at TJ? I am not smart enough. It's just agh. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am just so so miserable. And tomorrow I have to go to Sirens, I have to. I can't let anyone down because I can't and they don't even need me because I suck at singing anyway. I realized that when I didn't get into WSS. I had gotten such an ego. Then just like that it got popped like a stupid overinflated balloon. Then I flipped out. But somehow I feel like I deserve all of this. I feel like I'm being punished for something. And I know my life doesn't seem that bad. And I know that i'm lucky Iknow that it could be so much worse but it doesn't help that I am just depressed. That's what it is. Everything is worse when you are depressed. I'm also PMSing but ok, I am depressed too. Agh and now I am letting everyone and anyone in the entire world see how insane I am. So yay. Read away. Current Mood:  gloomyJanuary 16th, 2005: crazy weekend. If anything can be described as crazy and unexpected and just in general...weird...it would be this weekend (which isn't over yet!). Friday I stayed home (as you already know), Saturday I spent the whole day at Will's...acted up....kept wanting to "go upstairs to roll around," ended up running around screaming...got no work done whatsoever. Today, I sat down and said "I'm going to do some work." And I DID. But whenever I have work, and I know I have some time to do it, I always take FOREVER on it. So I um, "did my problem set." Meaning wrote the "Given" and "Find" for each problem. All the problems are 100% undoable. Really. I think I'm going to have to not do this one. You know. Speaking of DOING. I am SUCH a skank. I found out that I am the skankiest person in the whole Sirens group tonight. We played ten fingers (which is basically someone says I never ever have done...this...and then if you have done it, you put a finger down.)The first two things that were said SO HAPPENED to be the 2 worst things I have ever done, so now everyone thinks I am a full blown skank. Which is funny, because when I played that game before I was always like the cute little innocent one who has kissed boys but never done anything really bad. But also most of the people in the group are sophomores...or mormons:) so...I guess I don't need to feel THAT dirty. But just for reference so people don't start thinking that those 2 worst things were really awful....I have......not had sex, not done drugs or dealt them, not gotten drunk, not given a blow job,.....ummmm...if i think of something else i'll keep you updated..... OK so there lol. << [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<dolce126:>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] If anything can be described as crazy and unexpected and just in general...weird...it would be this weekend (which isn't over yet!). Friday I stayed home (as you already know), Saturday I spent the whole day at Will's...acted up....kept wanting to "go upstairs to roll around," ended up running around screaming...got no work done whatsoever. Today, I sat down and said "I'm going to do some work." And I DID. But whenever I have work, and I know I have some time to do it, I always take FOREVER on it. So I um, "did my problem set." Meaning wrote the "Given" and "Find" for each problem. All the problems are 100% undoable. Really. I think I'm going to have to not do this one. You know. Speaking of DOING. I am SUCH a skank. I found out that I am the skankiest person in the whole Sirens group tonight. We played ten fingers (which is basically someone says I never ever have done...this...and then if you have done it, you put a finger down.)The first two things that were said SO HAPPENED to be the 2 worst things I have ever done, so now everyone thinks I am a full blown skank. Which is funny, because when I played that game before I was always like the cute little innocent one who has kissed boys but never done anything really bad. But also most of the people in the group are sophomores...or mormons:) so...I guess I don't need to feel THAT dirty. But just for reference so people don't start thinking that those 2 worst things were really awful....I have......not had sex, not done drugs or dealt them, not gotten drunk, not given a blow job,.....ummmm...if i think of something else i'll keep you updated..... OK so there lol. <<<dolce126: quoi de neuf? dolce126: it's been like a whole hour since i saw you.... Cyberangel100: I KNOW dolce126::( Cyberangel100: LJDGLKSDJG>>> Oh I do love my fiancee. I'm going to be really random tonight. I'm tired. I heard this really great song on the way back from Sirens tonight. It was so pretty...it was by Greenday, but like it wasn't their *style* at all really, but it was nice. But at the same time sad. I can't really explain it. Good lyrics too: I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a... My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone <<<bblgumgurl1777: haahahaha only dr kennedy bblgumgurl1777: mwahahahahah bblgumgurl1777: he doesnt kno were in his class...poor unfortunate soul>>> If Sinziana and I make it into Chemical Analysis....poor Dr. Kennedy. He already is terrified of us because I kicked open a door and he was like RIGHT there. And he jumps like 3 feet in the air and starts walking briskly away (briskly in a *must get away must get away* type briskly) then he crashes into this girl with a lunch tray and makes her spill her food all over the floor, then he runs to Dr. Acio's room where he has 3 successive panic attacks, in which his eyeballs have perfectly fantastic elastic collisions. Then he runs out and falls and jumps on Mr. Rose's hovercrafts and flies away the end. WEll then. That STARTED out being true but then at the panic attack part I started being myself and making up stuff. Now I need to write a love poem for my fiancee::: Roses are orange Violets are too Jackie Andros I love you! You make me smile and make me...HAPPY And make me write things that are Extremely sappy My love for you.....is as unbounded as the sea And as uncliched as MTV? I love to rhyme And act really insane But being crazy Can be such a pain But not when I'm crazy in love with my fiancee Every second with her is perfect HEY! LALALALALA *beat boxing* t-t-k t-t-k t-t-k. The End. HAHAHA. What is wrong with me I am so hyper. I hate it so much when I do this. I completely flip. I caught it from Laura I think. Or possibly Eileen. Eileen was CRAZY at Sirens today it was funny. Does anyone else want me to write them a cute personalized love poem to give to their fiancee on Valentine's Day? I promise it will be JUST as good as the one above. Heh heh heh heh. Alright this entry is just getting to be too much. TOo long. Too crazy. But whatever haha. I AM crazy. Yes everyone. I admit it. laura gave me a shirt once. it said "Emily isn't crazy. She's mad." They had a whole line of them at Hot Topic. That I must say is a lie. I am mad, yes, but only in the insane sense of the word. Weird, screwed up, high, psychotic....I've been called it all. And I agree with it all. Speaking of lying. What constitutes a lie? Is lying always bad? I hate it when I KNOW someone is lying to me. Some people you can just tell that they're lying. Other people, you completely trust. Those are the worst kind. They can smile and look perfectly genuine and say "great job." or something,and you KNOW they are lying. It makes me so sad! Actually I have no idea what i'm talking about. Actually I do. Seeeeee I'm talking about when people talk about other people behind their backs, and then you see how they act around those people, and their actions seem like they love the person and there's no way you could tell otherwise. But you KNOW that they say not-so-nice things to YOU about the person. So then it makes you wonder...what are they saying about ME behind my back? But I am ultraparanoid already, so whatever. Does anyone know someone like that though? Bleh. OK so one more random comment. I have money in the lining of my coat. I realized that today when I started gesturing and jingling at the same time. In ninth grade I found a tube of lipgloss that was on my arm. (AH WHAT THE F IS THIS?!?!? ) LA LA. Alright the end. This has been quite enough. GOODNIGHT.......:) Current Mood: crazyJanuary 14th, 2005: sick... I'm sad because I had to stay home from school today. Yesterday during lunch I started feeling sick, but I slept through physics and then took my AP chem test...which wasn't TOO bad so...yeah...but then when I got home I got very very much sicker and couldn't study for my THREE tests today...which I now have to make up. Yuck. But I think it was my way of telling myself that I need to just relax and take a break from freaking out about school. It was nice because my mom and I just watched chick flicks (after I woke up at like 12) and slept and stuff...and that was nice because I am always busy and we never really get to talk anymore. So that was fun:) Anyway...now I'm starting to get worried because I missed SO much at school today:: Spanish Essay Test, History Unit Test, English Unit Test, bringing food for SHS bakesale, going to talk to Mrs. Doff at lunch about college, Vida's birthday:( and going shopping after school, and seeing if I got into my techlab or not. EEEK. Oh well. I just need to *breathe* and *survive.* I've been doing better at that lately. OK but I am going to go do something else now. or just annoy peter ban. which is always fun. :) iloveyou youknowimeanit MLE Current Mood: blahJanuary 11th, 2005: acronymmm
Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com Current Mood:  workingJanuary 8th, 2005: music is my lover. WOW. Ok so Keane is really really good (whoa I accidentally made a typo and wrote god lol). Brian thank you for making me the CD! I had heard the first song a million times and really liked it but didn't know who it was by and it turned out it was Keane so I was SO excited when I listened to it:) Anyway I really like them. I love it when I discover a new group or singer with songs that I like...maybe this will be my happy Emily discovery of 2005, like how OK GO was my happy Emily discovery of 2004. Ahh. I should probably go to bed now but I don't know why I'm not. I think I had a reason but I forget it now. I still need to cancel MusicNet@aol.com...or else my dad is going to get a bill for it and then he'll get very angry at me even though it's only 8.95/month. See this is an example of how one of my so-called brilliant plans backfires on me: I didn't want to be bad and get an illegal downloading software like Kazaa (which I dutifully deleted before 10th grade), so I think 'hey! I'll do the FREE keyword FREE 30 day trial of MusicNet@aol because it's practically the same thing as Kazaa only legal and I can cheat and get rid of it before I have to pay for it! I won't forget to cancel it!' um. bad assumption. Oh I'm so dumb. Oh well. I'm not even cancelling it yet! I've tried, but I got put on hold, and oh man I hate getting put on hold. Anyway. Before I go to bed I want to talk about how AWESOMMEEEEE FUBU FIESTA was!! It was really really great and I was sad that my fiancee and my mom couldn't come...ah my mom is going to be mad at me because I can't go volunteering with her tomorrow...but oh well.(Oh and for those who don't know my mom= vida, not my actual mom haha:)) So about FUBU. First I got to see Lance because he's home from UVA which made me happy! And he dropped me & Jen & Sinzi & Cat & Tiffany off at Subway and we ate and had a big party...then realized...it's freezing...and about to rain...and we need a ride back. So...me being the assertive person that I am, I approached the policeman sitting there being a bum, probably about to go get another fattening donut from 7 eleven, and asked him if he would so kindly help out some poor adorable little girls in need....his response? 'No. I can't give you a ride.' me: 'Please? We're stranded.' him: 'Sorry. Call your friends.' Hmph. As if I HAVE friends! How rude ;) I'm sure he didn't have anything better to do either. That shows how incompetent today's police force is! So we ended up walking back, and singing Happy Ending at the top of our lungs, and getting really psycho because it was FREEZING outside...I think we might've seemed drunk because we got an awesome 6 honks en route...So to make long story short we go back to school, put on tons of make-up, run around being psycho, then Sinzi Jen and I sit in the little creasey thingy in the stairwell and talk for literally like 2 hours...we leave....go to dance and it's super fun. ok I'm way too tired to elaborate anymore than that. I wasted all my energy on the policeman story. One thing that happened though was I danced with someone that I think is kind of cute. Let's call him...Vincent. So I was happy about that. But ok time for bed now...I'm exhausted and got almost NO work done today...ick. But if you're at all interested remind me to tell you about the mr. cake-ur story that happened also. It was FUNNY. School majorly blows. You know you love me, MLE Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: Keane January 6th, 2005:
It's so cold in my basement that I am trembling as I write this. Gaaahhhh! I don't like the cold...I hate all the shivering and teeth chattering and goosebumps that come with it. I also hate it when it's cold...but it doesn't snow. What's the point of coldness without snow? Maybe I shouldn't go to college in the north. I would probably freeze to death and besides...how could I wear my skank clothes? So anyway. I have been procrastinating ever since I got home from school...and now I'm getting some more in before I force myself to go take the quizzics phiz and read Don Quijote. I always procrastinate more when I have less homework, which works out, but is also really dumb because I get as much sleep as on nights when I stay up slaving away. Oh well...I've recently been reading the 5th Gossip Girl which is SO deliciously trashy, so I get to look forward to that when I finally crawl upstairs. (Thank you Jacquelee:)) Speaking of Jacquelee! I forgot to mention. SIRENS are performing at Jammin' Java in Vienna on January 23rd at 1:30. You should all come. That is...anyone that likes HoTTtttttt girls singing stuff like Spice Girls, Sophie B. Hawkins, Jennifer Paige, Christina Aguilera...y mucho mas. My current favorite is Crush by Jennifer Paige, even though we haven't exactly started singing it yet (unless singing it going down the hall counts)...and I'm SO excited to do it because I don't know...it's just so cute! "It's just a little crush (crush). It's not like I faint every time we touch. It's just some little thing (crush). Not like everything I do-ooh depends on you-ooh." I've been listening to it/singing it so much lately that I'm starting to wonder why they called it a crush anyway? You know how when you look at a word for too long you start thinking it's misspelled or you just realize how weird a word it is. I have been thinking about it and I honestly have no idea why it's called a crush. If liking someone a little is a crush than what is being in love? A bullet? An anvil smashing your head? HMPH. Seriously though. Why would you want someone to crush you? It seems like its a snide remark towards fat people or something. I guess you could say that it's referring to crushing someone by jumping on top of them in the bed...except there's already a word for that: sex. And most normal people (who aren't skanks or guys (sorry boys you are all skanks you can't help it:)) don't just have sex with people they only like a little bit. Maybe it's called a crush because your heart can get crushed by someone, or because you can crush them like suffocating them by being obsessive. But then it doesn't seem to fit either- because why would you be so badly hurt or be so clingy to someone you don't like THAT much? Beats me. Crushed. It sounds more like ice to me than an actual emotion. But maybe that's the whole essence of it. Crushed ice is good in drinks, but it's pretty much the same thing as regular ice only choppier, and if you drink it with a straw the little pieces can get through and hit you in the back of the throat and choke you for a second and then they melt and it's all ok. OK so...I've rambled on for like 20 minutes about why the word crush is the word crush. I guess you can't really look that far into things. But unfortunately I always read into EVERYTHING, so anyone reading this just has to deal. Enough procrastinating. Homework time. EW:( Current Mood:  crushed-see there it is!: Hi! So. I am really bored right now. Otherwise I wouldn't have made one of these things. I have no idea how much I will write in it...if at all...but for now I guess anyone who reads this knows and loves me and won't hold it against me if I don't update them on what's going on. Oops...it's time for dinner. I spent too much time making this thing to actually write anything. Oh well...maybe later. |
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